Luke 22:54-62: After arresting him they led
him away and took him into the house of the high priest; Peter was following at
a distance. They lit a fire in the middle
of the courtyard and sat around it, and Peter sat down with them. When a maid saw him seated in the light, she looked intently at
him and said, “This man too was with him.”But he denied it saying, “Woman, I do not know him.”A short while later someone else saw him and said, “You too are
one of them”; but Peter answered, “My friend, I am not.”About an hour later, still another insisted, “Assuredly, this man
too was with him, for he also is a Galilean.”But Peter said, “My friend, I do not know what you are talking
about.” Just as he was saying this, the cock crowed, and the Lord turned and looked at Peter; and Peter
remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows
today, you will deny me three times.” He went out and began to weep
bitterly.
As I read this part of the passion of Christ on
Sunday, the words jumped off the page and into my heart. I was utterly struck
by the image of Peter, so bold and brave as to follow Jesus in this dangerous
situation, yet overcome with such fear for his mortal life that he would deny
his dearest friend. How many times have I purposefully and with great resolve
turned my life over to Jesus, promising to follow Him no matter where, only to
cave in fear as I am challenged by the outside world, cave to the imagined fear
of mocking and ridicule if I remain true to Jesus and openly profess my
relationship with Him through direct action, words, or by rejecting popular yet
sinful conversation and activities. Peter wanted to be faithful, but fear got in
the way. Remember Peter said in Luke 22:33 that he would die for Jesus, yet
here he is, refusing to even acknowledge Jesus as someone he knew. Haven’t we
all, some time in our lives, turned our backs on our only hope of salvation in
order to fit in, or be loved, or gain worldly respect? Haven’t we all sold out at
some time to the fear we might be recognized as “on fire” for Christ? I think
through Peter we learn that the difference between the brave heart in us and
the coward in us is very tenuous at best, and that we can fall at any time.
That is why our lives must be steeped in Scripture reading, service, and
Sacraments. We must cultivate our faith to such a point that it totally
outweighs the fear that exists in us all.
How can we even read the following verse without
being struck by the horrible pain that Peter must have felt? “…and the Lord turned and looked at Peter;” I
can only imagine how Peter felt as he looked up from his adamant denial of any
relationship with Jesus, only to see Jesus looking at him! The word in Greek
translates as “to look at something directly and therefore intently.” This was
not a mere glance; this was a gaze. Were Jesus’ eyes filled with pain? Did they
reflect pity? Was Jesus only showing more love through His eyes at that moment
than Peter had ever experienced in his life? My guess is all three, and I think
I am right. When I knowingly commit a sin, no matter how small, I picture Jesus
looking right at me. His eyes reflect the sorrow He is feeling at my denial of Him,
for every single sin is nothing more than a denial of the One who sets us free.
I see Him gazing at me with love and mercy, telling me that I may have pained
Him at this moment, but if I ask Him for it, He will give me the grace to get
up and get going again. I know this must be true. Jesus took Peter’s contrition
to heart and made Him the head of His Church on earth. He will give us great
blessings if we acknowledge our sin, ask forgiveness, and start again more
determined than ever to stay close to Christ, so that the only gaze we receive
from Him is one filled with pride. Peter wept as do we. This week we will weep
for our sins and what they did to Christ. Let us never forget, however, that He
loved us to death. We can be brave enough to do the same for Him by putting to
death our sinful practices and habits, and turning our eyes upon Jesus.
Turn Your Eyes
Upon Jesus by Helen Lemmel
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Refrain
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
Refrain
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
Refrain
