Devotion for today: “Please! You don’t have to do this!”

Scripture for meditation: Proverbs 17:6
Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of sons is their fathers.

I recently read the book “Unplanned” by Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic manager who now works to spread the pro-life message. In the book, she describes an intense scene where a young woman pulls up to have an abortion, and her mother is at the fence begging her not to do it. It started me thinking. Here is another group of silent sufferers in this world of abortion: grandparents who will never hold the little one on their knees and hear the blissful laughter of a grandson or granddaughter. I recount the scene for you here in an abbreviated form, then follow with an article on the post-abortive effects on grandparents. Lest we ever, ever believe that there are any actions which solely affect us in this world, this aspect of abortion should put that notion to rest. We must include in our prayers and sacrifices this week, the hurting grandparents.

”As I approached the girl’s car, she got out on one side… Her mom was standing just outside the fence calling to her, obviously in real emotional pain. The rest of the family stood in a semicircle behind the mom… The mother’s voice, through her weeping, was filled with desperation. “You don’t have to do this,” she called, her voice anguished. “We want to help you. We can support you. You can live at home. We’ll give you money – whatever it takes! Don’t do this!” … And as I stood waiting, the back door of the car opened and a little girl got out – maybe two years old. It was the daughter of the girl who’d come in to have the abortion! And as she stepped up beside her mother, she saw her grandmother on the other side of the fence. “Hey, Ma-ma!” she called innocently. The grandmother wept even harder….” (Unplanned, by Abby Johnson, Tyndale House Publishers, 2010).

And now this from Ramah International: Grandparents can be separated into several categories as well:

1)      Parents who encouraged/forced their child to abort.
2)      Parents who did not know their child was pregnant and aborted.
3)      Parents who allowed their child to make their own choice about aborting.
4)      Parents who actively tried to stop the abortion but had no legal standing.

For the parents who encouraged/forced the abortion, there are many similarities in pain to the other demographic groups. Guilt, anxiety, mourning, grief, depression, etc. can all result because the person sees himself or herself as having the blood of this child on their hands. In many cases, the healing process can be similar to a mother's process. By acknowledging their sin, reaching out to God and grieving the loss of this child, they can also find peace. Yet they may still be confronted with anger from the aborting child because the child was either helpless or overruled in making their own choice.
For parents who never discover their grandchild was aborted, there is no specific grief. The family often experiences a dysfunctional relationship with the aborting daughter/son but rarely suspect a past abortion could be the reason for their difficulties. This daughter might become angry when a sibling presents the family with the first grandchild, secretly knowing that her child should have received this esteemed position.
When the parent allows the child to make the abortion decision, many times the grandparent feels guilt for not being more actively involved. This is especially painful when history shows the aborted child to be the only grandchild. Peace may be obtained by acknowledging the sin, and asking God to help them through the grieving process.
Parents who actively tried to stop the abortion but had no legal standing are especially vulnerable to pain and family dysfunction. This is more often the case when their son's girlfriend/wife has the abortion. Denial is not a part of dealing with this pain. Grief is immediate and profound.
(October, 2012 newsletter, http://www.ramahinternational.org/who-affected-abortion.html)

Where to go for help: http://www.project-rachel.net, http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/

Prayer: Dear Lord, I claim this scripture. Please heal all who have been affected by abortion.

 I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back from captivity. (see Jeremiah 29:11-14)