The circumstances of St. Monica’s life could have made her a nagging wife, a bitter daughter-in-law and a despairing parent, yet she did not give way to any of these temptations. Although she was a Christian, her parents gave her in marriage to a pagan, Patricius, who lived in her hometown of Tagaste in North Africa. Patricius had some redeeming features, but he had a violent temper and was licentious. Monica also had to bear with a cantankerous mother-in-law who lived in her home. Patricius criticized his wife because of her charity and piety, but always respected her. Monica’s prayers and example finally won her husband and mother-in-law to Christianity. Her husband died in 371, one year after his baptism.
Monica had at
least three children who survived infancy. The oldest, Augustine, is the most
famous. At the time of his father’s death, Augustine was 17 and a rhetoric
student in Carthage. Monica was distressed to learn that her son had accepted
the Manichean heresy and was living an immoral life. For a while, she refused
to let him eat or sleep in her house. Then one night she had a vision that
assured her Augustine would return to the faith. From that time on she stayed
close to her son, praying and fasting for him. In fact, she often stayed much
closer than Augustine wanted.
When he was 29,
Augustine decided to go to Rome to teach rhetoric. Monica was determined to go
along. One night he told his mother that he was going to the dock to say
goodbye to a friend. Instead, he set sail for Rome. Monica was heartbroken when
she learned of Augustine’s trick, but she still followed him. She arrived in
Rome only to find that he had left for Milan. Although travel was difficult,
Monica pursued him to Milan.
In Milan,
Augustine came under the influence of the bishop, St. Ambrose, who also became
Monica’s spiritual director. She accepted his advice in everything and had the
humility to give up some practices that had become second nature to her (see
Quote, below). Monica became a leader of the devout women in Milan as she had
been in Tagaste.
She continued her
prayers for Augustine during his years of instruction. At Easter, 387, St.
Ambrose baptized Augustine and several of his friends. Soon after, his party
left for Africa. Although no one else was aware of it, Monica knew her life was
near the end. She told Augustine, “Son, nothing in this world now affords me
delight. I do not know what there is now left for me to do or why I am still
here, all my hopes in this world being now fulfilled.” She became ill shortly
after and suffered severely for nine days before her death.
Almost all we know
about St. Monica is in the writings of St. Augustine, especially his Confessions.(www.americancatholic.org)
St. Augustine speaks
to God about his mother, Monica, at her funeral, in his book Confessions:
“Peace, then, to her and her husband, for she
had none before him and none after, to whom she ministered, ‘bringing about the
result of patience’ when she made him your prize. May you call others, … your
servants and my brothers, your sons and my lords, whom I serve with heart and
voice and writings, that as many of them as read this may remember, at your
altar, your servant Monica and him who was her husband, Patrick. Through their
flesh, in a way incomprehensible, you ushered my soul into this life. May they
cherish in memory those who were my parents in the light of this passing world,
and are my siblings under you, the Father, and our mother church, fellow
citizens of the eternal Jerusalem, to which all your people on pilgrimage aspire.
Thus may my mother’s last request for prayers be more richly answered in the
prayer of all those reading this testimony than from my prayers alone.
My thoughts: St. Monica is an inspiration to all of us who
have worried about the spiritual lives of our children. They may be brilliant,
they may be athletic, they may be the most successful humans on the planet, but they may also reject the
greatest gift we gave them: the faith. We need never despair, but instead, we
must turn to St. Monica for inspiration and guidance. Her 17 years of persistent
prayers for her wayward son led to his eventual conversion. He then became a
bishop and went on to become a doctor of the Church. St. Monica, patron saint
of mothers, pray for us.
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