Eph 4:26-27, 31: “In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you
are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold... Get rid of all
bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of
malice.
2 Pet 1:9:...For
he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his
purification from his former sins.
It is one thing to settle an argument with someone by
saying “Look, I am sorry. I failed to see your point. Let’s start again and
this time let us both be open-minded.” It is another to say, “Look. I am sorry
I stole your project and presented it to the boss as my own and now have the
position and raise you deserved. Let’s just let it go and I promise I won’t do
it again.” Hmmm. I have a feeling the first situation will not only bring the
forgiveness asked for, it will also be a situation easily forgotten and not
impede the established friendship. I know
the second situation is never going to end like that. Forgiveness is tough
anyway because we cannot stand to have our pride injured. That is why it is
hard to ask for it and it is hard to give it. But let’s be honest. When we feel
we have been grievously wronged, and have suffered because of it, we not only
have our pride to deal with, but tremendous feelings of anger and hate, and a
desire to seek revenge and see the perpetrator punished by none other than God Himself.
Forgiveness seems impossible. And if we are the one who committed the heinous act,
we usually do one of two things: make light of it as in the example above, or refuse
to ask for forgiveness at all because we know how wrong we are and to admit it
is to face the wrath and anger of the one we have wronged.
The problem is really what is mentioned in the first
Bible passage above. When we experience a hurt, we open a tiny hole in our
armor against the devil. We cannot hold onto the virtues and defenses we have
worked so hard to achieve in our spiritual lives, because to be hurt
emotionally is just like being hurt physically. It is painful, and not easily
forgotten. That is just what the devil needs to move in and take over our
thoughts. We continually review the situation in our minds, seemingly at times
against our wills. We just can’t let it go. We seethe with anger and thoughts
of “How could he do this to me?” This usually leads to talking about this
person behind his back to any willing and sometimes unwilling listener. Doesn’t
sound too virtuous or God-like, does it? That is because it isn’t. It is the
devil and he is having a field day with us. The longer we ignore the situation,
the worse it will get. That is why the sun cannot go down on our anger. But
that is easier said than done!
It is easier said than done, unless we turn to God. For
without God, not only will we not forgive, we will never, ever be able to
forget. Think back to the worst physical pain you ever experienced. The broken
collar bone you got playing football, the 18 hour labor you experienced delivering
your first child, the burning sensation when hot water spilled on your arm are
not things easily tossed out of our minds. We don’t dwell on them, or we would
never play sports, have babies, or drink tea again. Yet we don’t forget. We
simply put them aside and move on. Emotional pain is much worse. We trusted
someone, and he betrayed us. We loved someone, and he broke our heart. We
believed someone, and he was lying all along. How do we “get over” this? We can’t,
not completely unless we let God enter our hearts and help us. We must turn
ourselves over to God, who is love and mercy Himself. Remember, God is a spirit
and as a Spirit He can enter our hearts and stay there if we let Him, and if we
let Him, He begins to dwell in us, and we in Him, and our hearts are softened
and we can say to Satan, “Go to hell and stay there. I will not be consumed by
hate and anger. I can and will forgive, and by the grace of God, I will in time
‘forget’ for all things are possible with God.”
It is here we remember that this very God living in our
hearts forgave us our sins, over and over and over, and will do so over and
over and over until we die. This is the same God who died for our sins although
He had none Himself. If nothing else works, remember that. We must forgive, for
we have been forgiven by God, and if we don’t forgive, then we are placing
ourselves ahead of God and saying, “I worship my right to be angry more than I
worship You, God.” Those are not good words to say. No, never.
So, our formula for forgiveness and forgetting goes like
this: handle your anger quickly and bravely before the devil has time to harden
your heart. Seek forgiveness quickly if you have harmed someone before you have
enough time to thoroughly justify your misdeed. Always pray hard and long to
have God, the Spirit of love and mercy, enter your heart and do what you cannot
do alone: forget and move on. I am not saying enter into denial; I am saying to
replace the repetition of the offense in your mind with love for the individual
who harmed you. That is what God has done so many times for you. That is the
high road. That is true freedom. Forgive and forget…really? Yes, really.
Rule #2 for
evangelization: Forgive everyone who has ever harmed you. Seek forgiveness from
everyone you have wronged. That is being Christ to others in a most powerful
way. That will bring people to God faster than any book you can recommend or
any lecture you can give. And remember to smile!
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