I have a friend who
recently told me she feels as though she doesn’t think she has any “real” sins
to confess. In comparison to the big sins surrounding her in the world, she
honestly believes her transgressions are not worth mentioning. She and I discussed
this problem and concluded that most people who don’t believe that confessing
to a priest is necessary truly believe only grave sins are dangerous. Interior
conversion is a slow and arduous process. It requires a lot of honest and hard
truth-telling. We must admit that we
have a lot of baggage from the past that still haunts us today, causing us to
commit the same mistakes over and over again, grave or minor. If we spend time
looking hard at our behavior, and tell a priest, who remember is acting “in Persona
Christi”, that we have fallen and need God's grace, we will find that the more we
search, the more we find, and the more we confess, the better we become. Our
hearts do not harden, and we are able to live a loving and merciful life. Let
us take a look at a few common transgressions that Fr. Michael Gaitley mentions
in his book, “Consoling the Heart of Jesus” a beautiful book about joining our
hearts to Jesus. This is only the introduction to these areas – please read
this book to see the details.
All sin hardens our hearts, but some sins are
particularly effective in doing so. Let’s take a brief look at some specific
kinds of sin that do the best job of hardening our hearts….
Gossip and envy:
Gossip and envy are especially effective at hardening hearts because of the way
they twist our emotional responses to the suffering of others. So, for example,
instead of feeling sorry for someone who suffers, gossip and envy get us to
rejoice and delight over his suffering. In the case of gossip, this kind of
emotional perversion may not happen immediately, but it leads in this
direction. Envy is more directly destructive. By its very nature, it leads to a
kind of wicked celebration over the misfortune of others whose goods we want
for ourselves…. Lust and greed: Sins that habituate us to seeing our neighbor
as an object (instead of as a person) are particularly good at making us blind
to the suffering of others. Such sins include lust, whereby we see others
simply as objects for sexual pleasure, and greed, whereby we see others merely
as opportunities for (or obstacles to) making money. Judgmental attitude: As Blessed Mother Teresa used to say, “If you
take the time to judge, you don’t have time to love.” When we assume an
attitude of judgment, a gap yawns between us and them, and we can’t connect. This
is a diabolical attitude that stems from pride. It’s subtle, but it does more
damage to the heart than sins of the flesh – the very sins over which it often
sits in judgment….Unwillingness to
forgive: Here I’ve saved what may be the “worst” for last. Nothing hardens
a heart more than an unwillingness to forgive. When we cling to bitterness,
resentment, grudges, and hate for those who have hurt us, our hearts quickly
become as cold and hard as ice. When we don’t forgive, we may think we’re
punishing the other person, but the reality is we’re destroying ourselves. We
often pray to our heavenly Father, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us.” Do we realize that if we don’t forgive, we won’t
be forgiven? Still, we need not get discouraged or despair if we have even the slightest
bit of good will, the Lord’s mercy is there for us….O Lord, please give us the
grace to forgive! (Marian Press, 2011).
No one can ever say
that a sin isn’t worth confessing. Anything that keeps us from a true and
honest relationship with God needs to be eliminated, and what better way to do
it than throwing away our pride, getting down on our knees, and asking God for
forgiveness. Let us see what Jesus told St. Faustina about the mercy which
awaits us when we return to His graces:
“Let the
greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before
others to trust in the abyss of My mercy. My daughter, write about My mercy
towards tormented souls. Souls that make an appeal to My mercy delight Me. To
such souls I grant even more graces than they ask. I cannot punish even the
greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I
justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Write: before I come as a
just judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass
through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice…” (1146)
“Today the Lord
said to me, Daughter, when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy,
the Blood and Water which came forth from My heart always flows down upon your
soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself
entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My
grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I
Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself
act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell
souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of
trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents
of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery,
because My grace turns away from them to humble souls.”(1602)
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