"As the
Father has sent me, even so I send you. . . . Receive the Holy Spirit. If you
forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they
are retained" (John 20:21–23).
I have lived in many cities and have belonged to many parishes. I have
had many wonderful experiences in the Confessional and some that were less than
stellar. I have gone through stages which governed my choice of confessors:
when young, I liked the priest who told me I was a good girl and not to worry
about my little sins. That was fine when I was nine years old. Then as a young
adult I wanted a confessor who gave me three Hail Mary’s and told me to make a
good Act of Contrition no matter what I said to him. That was fine when I was
20. As I matured in my faith, however, I realized that I did not need a
cheerleader, nor did I need a disinterested sleeper. I needed someone to tell
me when I was really on a good path and making great headway in my relationship
with God by searching my soul and finding its sins, or at other times, to wake
me up and tell me what was really going on behind the sins I chose to tell. Choosing
a good confessor is serious business. St. Faustina gives us this advice in her Diary,
entry 938:
The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length
for a director and should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual
director for it. What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely
human manner will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a
soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning
the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just
as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers
and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently
for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And let
it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had
prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before choosing
a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to discern
whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose another.
If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this change, for a
person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this: to have the
person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then, without doubt,
he will never attain it…
(Diary of Saint
Maria Faustina Kowalska, Marian Press, 2012).
Why do I bring this
up? I am not attacking priests, by any means. I am not saying that you will not
receive the graces offered in Confession if you get a disinterested priest. You
will always receive the graces of the sacrament if your intention is pure and
your desire is reconciliation with God. We are so blessed in the Catholic
Church to have Confession, so that we can name our sins out loud, expel them
from our souls, and receive God’s grace to begin a new life. That is why I am
saying you must choose your confessor carefully. Most people put more time and
energy into buying a new car than they do in choosing a confessor. It is very
advisable to go to different priests until you find one who truly listens to
you and offers you suggestions for ridding yourself of your sins. Matthew
Kelly, in his excellent book “Rediscover Catholicism: A Spiritual Guide to Living
with Passion & Purpose” states it this way:
People say to me all the time, “I cannot go to Confession
with my priest.” When I ask them why, they reply, “Because he knows me.” The
priest is supposed to know you. It helps that he knows you. The more he knows
you the more helpful he can be to you in your inner journey. You don’t go to a
different doctor every time you are sick. Your doctor knows you – your medical
history, your allergies, and the circumstances of your life. All this makes him
or her infinitely more effective. Similarly, you can go to Confession with a
priest who does not know you, or you can go to a different priest every time,
but there is an additional advantage to having a regular confessor: Because he
knows you and the various aspects of your life, he is able to provide unique
insight and continuity to the experience….One thing that we have lost sight of
is that the priest is there to help you become the best version of yourself. He
has given his whole life to serve the people of God, so at that moment the only
thing he is concerned with is helping you in your journey to become all God
created you to be….(Beacon Publishing, 2010)
The honest truth is
that we hate our sins and are ashamed of them. It is good for us for feeling
that way!! It is bad for us if we let that stop us from getting rid of them. It
is like a person who is a smoker not telling her doctor that fact in a yearly
physical. You would shake your head and say she must really be ashamed of her
smoking not to tell her doctor. It makes you wonder if she is afraid the doctor
is going to tell her she must, absolutely must stop smoking. So it is with sin.
Shame, sadness, and yes, fear that we will really have to stop the behavior all
cause us to take the Sacrament of Confession too lightly. It is our gateway to
heaven. Let us pray to God to find a good confessor for our souls, and for the strength
to always seek reconciliation with our Lord who loves us so deeply. As we
prepare for Divine Mercy Sunday this Sunday, let us reflect on what Jesus
revealed to St. Faustina in Diary entry 1074:
My daughter, tell all people that I am Love
and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches me with trust, I fill it with such an
abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates
them to other souls.
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